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HOLLYWOOD MEN -  5 Reviews      Rating 2.0

DI V.  6/14/2013

My friends took me to Hollywood Men for my bachelorette party. Was it fun? YES! Were the men hot? YES! Did we have a good time? FOR SURE!

HOWEVER, there were some rough patches. This place is a scam. When you order drinks from the wait staff they add a 20% gratuity to the bill. The servers then claim that the 20% is for the bartenders and that you have to tip them on top of that! Ridiculous.

My friends bought me a lap dance, which i thoroughly enjoyed. But they were promised that I would be able to get a second lap dance at the end of the show when all the bachelorettes were called up on stage. That was a lie. When the time came, they wanted additional money to let me up on stage and give me a lap dance.

Also, we found the staff to be very rude. They need a serious attitude adjustment, especially when working in the service industry and charging such obscene prices!

CYN D.  3/30/2009

We came here for my best friend's bachelorette party. We all had a good time despite the shortcomings of the show, but I'm calling them out nonetheless.

The quality of the performances was subpar. The MC in particular told a bunch of nasty, sexist jokes devoid of humor (e.g., "Want to blow out my candle?" Umm NO). He was a total tool trying hard to be young again. Some of the performers were ok (actually, just Gustavo), but their dance moves and outfits could've used a lot of help. What's up with the goatees and long greasy hair? That Fabio look is so 1985.

DINA B.  9/30/2013

Wow. This show deserves some rotten tomato action. Hollywood Men fails on all fronts! The show was tasteless, ghetto, appalling and offensive! I brought my bachelorette girlfriends in for some quality time but was so embarrassed for not doing my research.

The videos on the HM website were conveniently not loading. Yes, the guys' bodies were absolutely flawless, but what they did with those bodies was so unsexy. Only a couple of men could really dance, the rest was a cheesy revolting s#%t show. Is that what they think women like? Dude in a poorly fitting, dirty white 'captain' costume, with a red rose in his teeth, dropping his pants with his butt to the audience showing his g-string, to the deafening muffled sound of 'Take my Breath Away'?

The music, the sets, the lighting, the whole production was atrocious. The emcee guy looked like a washed up porn star in his leather vest and greasy hair, going on and on about nothing, telling bad jokes and hi-fiving dancers who just stuck that hand in their crotch smothered in whip cream. Really? Is this the Illustrious Hollywood, the epicenter of entertainment?

This place was cold, dirty and uninviting. The 7 of us prepaid our admission but they didn't have seats for us. Our host appeared as if he was on something, and was unapologetically nonchalant about the situation. We finally found seats behind the giant pillar, and had to stand up the whole time to see anything. We couldn't get drinks at the bar, and when the waiter finally appeared he took only 3 out of 7 orders, as he was trying to feel up on my friend's leg. Then he almost got away with my friend's credit card AND her driver's license, we chased him down. The most traumatizing thing though was what these guys assume that women like when they bring them on stage. Shoving their sweaty polyester crotches in your face and rough-humping it really really fast. Or grabbing your breasts and shaking them as fast as they can. Then they kick you off the stage to get to the next victim. I assure you these girls did not look comfortable! I swear they pretended that they liked it, or they were so wasted they didn't care.

Anyway, Hollywood Men's style cannot possibly appeal to women who want to be treated appropriately and enjoy themselves in the LADIES Club. They are absolutely missing the point. These douchebags have no idea how to treat women, clients who happily throw money at them! I just wonder why, why , why this place is packed every night with screaming girls as if they've never seen a man before. If you're like me, you may not want to waste your money. One star for Marcus. Gorgeous man, great dancer! He needs a new routine though badly. That Matrix crap is ridiculous.

JEN Y.  7/2/2012

Let me start by saying I would have given this place 4 stars but because of the douche bag service and racist/rude staff, I knocked it down to a 2. I was tempted to give it a 1 but the show was pretty fun so I'll give them that. Just a FYI - I went on a Friday night.

The short version: The show was a lot of fun, most of the guys are okay looking (some are pretty old) but all have sick bodies, our waiter was useless, and the manager was a washed up, racist dirt bag. Don't pay for more than what you need to. If you do the $50 special performance, go with the cop, the fireman, or the Christian Grey (do NOT do the vampire or spartan). If you all you want is a hot guy dancing on you, save your money for the $10 lap dance on stage, which will be after all the performances. Bring singles and wear something you don't care about.

The long version...

I'll start with the good. You have to go in there with an open mind. The performances are cheesy and entertaining all at once. Don't expect an Academy Award winning performance or a Channing Tatum doppleganger (I wish I could've gone to THAT club). If anything, the role playing will give you a really good laugh. The guys have hot bodies and it's fun to look at. It's also fun to see the other girls get into it. I advise bringing a lot of singles and fives. I also advise wearing clothes you don't mind ruining with sweat, oil, and possibly some spilled drinks.

Now on to the bad. We went here for a bachelorette party and paid a $35 cover for better seats. We also threw in another $50 so the bride-to-be could get a special performance on stage. From what I remember, there were around 8-9 special performances altogether. We chose the "vampire" theme and it sucked (no pun intended). If you're going to pony up the extra money, I advise you go with the cop theme, the Christian Grey theme, or the fireman theme. If you just want a hot guy dancing on you, save your money for the $10 lap dance.

I wasn't expecting the world but we were shortchanged and thought we could get an extra lap dance or something to make up for it. And to be clear, even girls outside of our group thought our performance was really bad (e.g. "so..that's it? what the hell was what?"). This is when service got real bad.

I talked to our waiter, who assured us he would do something, and lo and behold he didn't. Ladies, don't tip your waiter anymore than you need to. They literally have no say or pull. Tip him well if he entertains you but not because you think he will pull some strings. He will not.

I went to the manager (short stocky man with really greasy black hair and weathered face) who was hostile right from the start. I explained that a few of us thought the performance was nothing compared to the previous performances. He said if I'm not happy, then he can ask his security guys to "pick us up and kick us out." Um...WHAT!? He also said that my "people" are never happy with anything. Always complaining." Again...WHAT!? He then reminded me that he can get his security guys to kick my friends and I out. At that point, I said forget it and walked away because it wasn't worth ruining my girlfriend's party.

All that said, our waiter said he had no power but would try to get someone to dance with us "after". Based on the other reviews, it looks like "after" means waaaaay later (after the stage performances and then the stage lap dances).

Again, a really good time for you and your friends but so NOT worth the add-ons and extra tips. The manager is an old, wrinkly, angry, pathetic excuse of a man (if he can even be considered one). If it wasn't for him, I would have considered coming back but out of principle - although, principle and strip clubs seems to be at odds with one another - I don't want to give them more money. Hopefully there will be a different place to go to the next time I need a male strip club.

LILLY T.  9/13/2007

25 dollars to get in.. great performance...some men may seem gay... with black nail polish.. but their buff and tight butt swipe u away... ladies shove some dollars bills in ur shirt, they will take them by their lips slowly going to ur neck.. friends shove a dollar in ur fren mouth, stripper will take them by their tongue and move slowly to ur breast.... Marcus... is the hottest one in town...


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